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Dear HR Manager,

My resume is blank for the past six years as I have been in an unpaid role which consisted of becoming stronger, wiser and infinitely more resilient than anyone you have ever met.

Duties in my previous role included becoming a portal of life between the cosmos and Earth, stewarding the generation who will awaken this planet and healing my lineage in both directions, all of which I accomplish regularly with ease. 

I am an excellent candidate due my vast experience in self fucking belief, black belt in boundaries, smiling through my tears and intentionally curated sovereign energy. 

I am an expert in pulling up my big girl pants, not letting different foods touch on the plate, owning my sh*t and I specialise in paying bills by manifesting money out of thin air. 

I have a masters in being underestimated, under appreciated and undervalued and am adept at maintaining professionalism while being physically or verbally attacked.

I can competently cook 15...